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Book 2

Title: Into the Wild

Author: Jon Krakauer

Genre: Non-Fiction – Historical – Biography - Philosophy

Date Completed: 1-22-10

Synopsis: An educated, wealthy young man goes unprepared into Alaska to try to live off the land and dies. An examination on his motives as well as ruminations on young men’s idealism, father relationships, and discontent with materialism.

Thoughts: Very emotive. The writer fairly and movingly describes the complexity of Chris McCandless and compares and contrasts him with other “reckless” freedom seekers. Perhaps the most moving section of the book is when the author delves into his own personal life, and sees how he is not that different from Chris. The explanations of the idealism, discontent, inspiration, and difficulties with authority a 23 year old man faces are spot on, and hit close to home. I finished the book at lunch time, minutes before I was supposed to teach again. Not a good decision, as I felt emotionally distraught and needed more time to gather myself.

Memorable quote: “At that stage of my youth, death remained as abstract a concept as non-Euclidean geometry or marriage. I didn’t yet appreciate its terrible finality or the havoc it could wreak on those who’d entrusted the deceased with their hearts. I was stirred by the dark mystery of mortality. I couldn’t resist stealing up to the edge of doom and peering over the brink. The hint of what was concealed in those shadows terrified me, but I caught sight of something in the glimpse, some forbidden and elemental riddle that was no less compelling than the sweet, hidden petals of a woman’s sex.

In my case – and, I believe in the case of Chris McCandless- that was a very different thing from wanting to die.

Book 1

Title: Generation Kill

Author: Evan Wright

Genre: Non-Fiction - historical

Date Completed: 1-16-10

Synopsis: Evan Wright rides with a first recon marine unit on the initial Iraq invasion

Thoughts: Excellent book. Really puts a personality on the individual soldiers. Descriptions of battles and the prowess and coolness of the soldiers is electrifying. Poignant look at the mixed emotions the soldiers experience about war, civilian deaths, and the command system in the army. Hilarious, yet sad anecdotes of incompetence and irresponsibility by army officers, with degrading yet accurate nicknames such as Captain America and Encino man. Great detail of the misery and adaptation marines go through on a day to day basis, and luminary look into how tough these men really are. Made me want to join the marines, yet made me even more disenfranchised with the Iraq war.

Memorable quote: (a soldier reflects after a commander led them into a dangerous, foolish tactical mission)“Yeah, we volunteered to be here, but we didn’t volunteer to be treated like idiots. His story always changes. ‘Protection of the Forces’ my fucking ass. Why did we make the pell-mell fucking rush? So a colonel could score a few extra brownie points with his general.”

Don't Get Used to Me Darlin

I think i just got settled in, and its time to pack up again.

4 months in Dallas has proven to be an essential, incredible postmark in my life. I lived almost completely without care and was almost entirely autonomous. I posted last fall about how I wasn't sure what to do with all my freedom, and I think I finally figured it out this spring.

I had an incredible time in Dallas, met many friends and connected with many old ones. I will remember the materialistic city in the south fondly.

A few one sentence highlights.

- Going to a club with a thirty minute wait and a ten dollar cover, ditching the line, hopping a fence and sneaking in through the kitchen with Will

- Getting fired for the first time in my life for no discernable reason. I think my manager was annoyed that I confronted my coworkers when they would yell at me in front of customers and curse me out over the radio. But he wouldn't say that.

- Brainstorming with Tim on a new business venture. Its disappointing how much possibility is in the venture and how we can't pursue it right now

- Getting into a Dallas Cowboys fundraiser and seeing Wade Philips dance and taking pictures with the Cowboy cheerleaders.

- Going surfing on a lake, listening to "I'm On A Boat" while on the boat

- Playing intramural basketball and getting smoked every game

- Playing water polo with my community group after consuming a huge meal and numerous beers seconds before hand.

- Halo 3. Lots of it.

- Wondering how I was going to pay for bills so many times, and every time something would work out

- Singing Gangsta's Paradise at Karaoke with Tim and getting the whole bar completely into it

- Top Golf

- Ski Trip to Colorado

Etc. Etc.

However. Its sad to leave Dallas and puts me in a strange mood. I will write more of this later...

To the party of five who gave me three dollars on a 78 dollar tip,

To the two cows who ran me for an hour and frowned at me and asked me for another fork for their second round of food and then stiffed me,

To the group of gangstas ordering a ton of liquor and acting too hood to be friendly to me and the stiffing me,

To the women who i seat in a high table because we are full and i don't have any low tables currently and who responds to me saying, "this is all we have available right now, is this ok?" with a cool "its ok, but I'm not happy about it".

You make me very aware of the horrible plight of humans and make me regret my decision to be friendly to you in hopes of a positive human interaction and a possible good tip.


But,

To the dude in the pony tail and his hippie girlfriend who brightly smile at me and say thanks every time I come to to the table and then leave me a 50% tip

To the two old ladies from Singapore who, quite hilariously, think I look like John Mayer and tell me about their tall daughter enthusiastically.

To the women eating with her son on mothers day giving me the most soul warming smile every time I come by her table

To the dude giving me an unexpected bear hug because his food was "life-changing"

To the awkward table of girls leaving my their number

To the yuppie couple asking me why I am so nice and proceeding to bless me on my future endeavors

To the couple who tipped me 25% even after receiving pretty crappy service because they understood that I was being pushed to my limits after two servers didn't show up for the monday lunch shift and i was taking two sections

You make me absolutely love people and love my job

Larry Bird Syndrome, or The All "I Don't look like an NBA Player Team".

Think of a Professional basketball player, and an image immediately comes to mind. 6 foot something, shaved head, muscular, huge smile, and monstrous flashy shoes. This stereotype is warranted, with many of the greatest, most famous basketball players (*cough* MJ *cough*) rocking this fashion. However, every once in a while, a basketball player will trot onto the court, and everyone in the building will immediately be confused. "Hey, how did that guy get on the court, did he win some contest?" "Hey, was that the coach who just knocked down that three?"

There is probably no better example of this than the mighty Larry Bird.

One of the all time greatest players that basketball has ever seen, Larry looked completely out of place on the court. If you saw Larry on the street, you may have several guesses as to who he was. Guy on company softball team who is really good at pitching? Yes. Best man at your cousin's wedding? Yes. Xerox repairman? Absolutely.

Basketball legend? Hell no.

In Honor of Larry's awkward basketball looks, I've compile the present day "I look nothing like an NBA player yet still make millions shooting hoop each year" team. Behold.

1. Brad Miller
Current Job: Forward for the Chicago Bulls

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: Bassist for Nu-Metal Band

I don't know if it's the late nineties goatee, the extreme paleness, the tribal tattoos, or the horribly basic name, but every time I see Brad Miller, I imagine him stomping around a stage with a low slung downtuned bass in black parachute pants and a really rebellious t-shirt. His name could even still be Brad, maybe with some fake last name, like Delson or something...wait...

Linkin Park Bassist Brad Miller...er...Delson

2. Andrei Kirilenko

Current Job: Forward for the Utah Jazz

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: Brutal Henchman sidekick to James Bond Villain

His nickname is AK-47, and his razor sharp jaw and facial structure belies a maniacal Soviet villain hellbent on destroying James Bond and America through any way possible. He, of course, isn't the brilliant mastermind (that is probably the Cleveland Cavaliers Zydrunas Ilgauskas, or Z, as he is known by M18). Rather, he is the almost indestructable henchman who chases James through a Kenyan fruit market and runs through a hotel door in the Caymans, interrupting James doing what James does.

Kirilenko foils Bond again with his laser beam deflector

3. Wally Sczerbiak
Current Job: Forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance

Pharmaceutical Salesman/guy at bar with tucked in dress shirt and jeans

Wally's all-America jaw, perfect teeth, and tussled hair simply make him too good looking for the NBA. He must have missed the memo that to be white in the NBA, you must be pale, have flaccid muscles, and have a greasy complexion. He's much more fit to be the airheaded ken doll in a marketing firm, sales team, or insurance company. He's just chillin' with some bros from Accounting at the pub in his tucked in $135 button down with some Diesel jeans and pointed loafers.

Another round of Skyy shots!

4. Chris Anderson

Current Job: Forward for the Denver Nuggets

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: One of the guys in Bam Margera's Crew

Probably the most obvious addition to this list, Chris "Birdman" Anderson defies everyones expectations of what a basketball player looks like. I would definitely see this guy at a scummy club seeing a crust punk band, or at a carnival drinking with his friends, but never as an athlete. He is the guy in Bam's crew who never talks much, but is always willing to do the most socially offensive pranks. Bam always refers to him as Birdman, and there is a long running joke about Birdman being in love with Bam's mom.

"So, Birdman is gonna rush the court in the NBA game, and see how long he can hump players before he gets hauled off by security. "

5. J.J. Barea

Current Job: Guard for the Dallas Mavericks

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: Guy in the office who takes fantasy football and the tourney pool waaay too seriously.

J.J. Barea is about 5'10''. He has a latino name. Those two facts are oxymoronic with the term NBA player. Instead of cutting and slashing and somehow scoring double digits consistently, I see Barea as the guy in the office who is talking about the NCAA tournament in January and watching the NFL combine during work hours. You always wonder why he is so obsessed with pro sports, since he doesn't seem athletic at all. One day, you find out that he was continually cut from the basketball team in high school. He hopes that his dominance in predicting the NCAA champion and the NFL rushing leader makes up for his failure in prep sports.

J.J. Barea, left, seen here with normal sized basketball player.

6. Chris Kaman

Current Job: Center for the L.A. Clippers

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: Controversial Anthropologist

Chris Kaman is disgusting. He defies all reason and social norm in personal grooming and appearance. This makes me believe he is an anthropologist, constantly studying humanity and society while living outside of it. He's not just any anthropologist though, he is one of the most controversial figures in the field, with findings that include "Human's live best without electricity", and "How the fruit fly is more advanced than the spider monkey". He does most of his "studies" by living with animals in the wild and covering himself with their feces for months at a time.

Kaman's wild eyes show his discomfort in wearing normal human clothing.

7. Robert Swift

Current Job: Center for the Oklahoma City Thunder

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: The unpopular stoner

Robert Swift is obviously a good enough basketball player and hard worker to get into the NBA, but nothing in his appearance says so. Instead, he looks like the obnoxious, kinda smelly stoner that makes everyone groan with every word uttered. He shows up to parties and tries starting "legalize it" conversations with everyone in the room, even if it means he has to interrupt their dancing or drinking games. Despite his arsenal of petitions and facts saying that drinking is more harmful than smoking, he is never taken seriously due to his unbelievably unintelligent voice and hilarious mop of red hair.

Alright Coach, I really appreciate it. Remember, the protest will be in the High Pies Pizza parking lot. Bring your own!

8. Jaokim Noah

Current Job: Center for the Chicago Bulls

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance: The mixed offspring of human and Predator

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9. Scott Pollard

Current Job: Perpetual Free Agent

Probably Real Job Based on Appearance:Youth Pastor

Pollard is known as a crazy guy by the middle schoolers and high schoolers in his church , but his passionate messages against alcohol and rated R movies and vast knowledge of Christian alternatives to popular bands makes him a hit with the senior pastor staff at his church. He will shave his head or die his hair crazy in order to connect with the kids.

"Alright guys, how do you like the new style? Well, I told you I'd go through with it if we got 50 new camp registrations, and guess what, you guys are awesome and got 63!"

I always knew Glenn Beck was a douche...I could never put a finger on why.

Thank you Stephen Colbert...

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